Has anyone ever said to you, “Hey, I had a dream about you last night”? They then continue to describe every specific detail; you may even have felt the emotions attached to what they were sharing. “It seemed so real”!
This has happened to me many times. It always makes me uncomfortable. After listening to someone describe his or her dream, in which, I was the main character, I usually find myself replying, “How did you ever come up with that”?
The dream usually portrays me in a context, which is totally out of character and having no reference to my reality. We would then laugh about it, and say, “It’s only a dream”.
What if… in actuality, you were living out someone else’s dream for your life? Sound far-fetched?
Perhaps it’s not as improbable as you may think.
Over the years, I have worked with some amazing people from different facets of life. Most are seeking guidance and support in discovering direction and purpose for their life.
This does not necessarily mean they are unsuccessful in their careers, lonely in their relationships or discontent with their family life. In fact, it is usually the opposite.
These are people, just like you and me, who are going about their everyday life; working, raising a family, active in the community, and following their faith. They would say their life is pretty much status quo. However, in the midst of their busy lives, they were unable to escape a deep inner dissatisfaction, a sense something is missing.
As I worked with these individuals, I realized there was a common thread woven throughout their stories. Each person came to the discovery; life as they knew it was drastically different than what they had dreamed it would be, leaving them frustration and feeling stuck!
We then began to examine what was driving their decision-making. Repeatedly, it was brought to light, both men and women, allowed themselves to be strongly influenced by the expectations of others.
They woke up one day and realized they were ‘Stuck in someone else’s dream for their life!’
Can you relate? I know I can!
Looking back over my life, there was a LONG season, when I can absolutely say; I was living someone else’s dream for my life. Others, intentionally, or unintentionally setting expectations for me, to which I conceded. At the time, I was unaware of the ultimate sacrifice I was making…I forfeited pursuit of my purpose.
We need to be careful, in our attempt to solicit advice from others, to ultimately ensure we make decisions based on our personal, unique goals.
It is easy to be distracted and led of course by the well-meaning advice of family, friends and colleagues. No one can see your life through your perspective; you must be diligent about staying true to yourself at all cost.
Allow me to share with you a few practical steps to help you prioritize decisions in order to avoid being trapped in someone else’s dream for your life.
- Prayerfully, consider what opportunities you should say YES to, and those you should say NO to. Not every ‘good idea’ is a ‘God’ idea for you.
- Understand, being ‘qualified’ to accomplish a particular task isn’t necessarily an indication you need to be pursuing that field of expertise. Skill is just one piece to the puzzle. Use discernment.
- Consider your personality. Does the opportunity being presented, or recommended, compliment who you are? You are created to ‘fit’ comfortably within the realm of your purpose.
- Yield to your inner voice. Do not jump onto a path unless you have an inner peace, being personally convicted, this is the right opportunity for YOU! Be patient.
If one or more of the above components are missing, seriously consider investigating the path set before you.
It is disheartening to wake up one day and realize you are not living out the life you desire. You only get one life, make it meaningful!
Time is always in your favor. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledges Him and He will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
If…you are reading this now and you would say, “I am the Star shining in someone else’s dream”… Don’t panic! It’s never too late to literally WAKE UP, and make a plan!
Give yourself permission to dream again!
Be honest with yourself, seek God, have faith and trust in God’s ability to supernaturally, advance you towards your purpose.
The world needs what you have to offer. Don’t settle! You can find purpose and live passionately for God’s glory.
You are irreplaceable!
-Lucy Ann
Challenge Question: What is a small but significant step you can take in moving forward towards your purpose?
Jordy says
Great post Lucy Ann. Several things came to mind as I was reading this.
If I could do anything I wanted for an occupation and knew I couldn’t fail, what would it be? I’ve spent many years pouring sweat equity into someone else’s dream in exchange for a weekly paycheck. I think the answer to that question for me would have something to do with music, yet I’ve never pursued a carrier in music (even with so many friends and relatives through the years encouraging me to do so)? No matter though, I still know I’m right where God wants me to be. Currently, I’m actually considering trying to sell the rights to some of my original songs. I am also working on playing more in local venues where I can make money. Even at age 54, it’s not to late to live out your dreams. So, everything happens in God’s speed, not mine.
Here’s an interesting thought, even now as I am writing this, I am contributing time to your dream to have a successful blog and all that entails, when I could actually be working on my own dreams…Ah, give and you will receive, pressed down, shaken together and running over…
Later today I am installing some cabinets (for free) contributing to a friend’s dream to have her kitchen remodeled.
Another thought I had is that our money is always looking for a place to go. Every time we spend money we are basically contributing to someone’s dream.
One final thought, codependent relationships are formed out of someone living in someone else’s dream rather than living in their own.
Lucy Ann says
Thanks, Jordy, I love the thoughts you shared with us. I whole heartily agree, sowing into someone’s dream and living in someone else’s dream are totally different concepts.
Sharing our expertise, supporting, and encouraging others to pursue their dreams, is awesome. Do onto others as you would have them do onto you 🙂
As I read your comment, “our money is always looking for a place to go”, I had this thought… making an investment of time and money into ourselves is the best use of our resources. In doing so, we may also be helping someone else fulfill their purpose. I know we are all connected, we are not on this journey alone!
Keep bringing your awesome talents to the world! I love your music, may you be blessed as you continue to be a blessing!
Elaine. says
Dear Lucy
Thank you for the encouragement of living my dream. For so long I have been living the dream for my two sons. It has been hard to let go and let God BUT that is the only way to be able to live my dream. I love my boys dearly but come to realize Jesus loves them more and they are his children. I am thankful for the scriptures you share with your readers. Thank you for reminding me to go to God first with everything. Have a blessed day.
Lucy Ann says
Elaine, it sure is hard at times to trust our kids to God. So true, He does love them even more than we do. Going after your dreams and living your purpose is setting a wonderful example for your boys to witness. I pray God’s peace over you as you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. May you uncover the next step God has planned for you. Happy to hear you are finding inspiration here. God Bless!